Couples & Relationship Therapy


GearingUp’s couples and marital offerings have been completely refreshed combining new research, new therapies, and better results. Dr. Sylvia Gearing has personally redesigned and rewritten our couples offerings to include Dr. Sue Johnson’s Emotion Focused Therapy, new classes to help couples reconnect through mindfulness and other techniques, and a completely redesigned Gottman marital program integrating their latest research and methods. GearingUp is now offering the most innovative and latest approach that blends the best approaches in couples therapy from the world’s top couples experts to achieve outstanding results for your patients. GearingUp has the tools to help your patients find that spark once more.


The Warning Signs

Everyone knows that relationships require effort and energy to work over the long haul. 

It seems so effortless at first when we fall in love with this wonderful person we’ve found, but over the years things can become challenging in many ways. Life challenges, career demands, family conflicts, and much more can all put a strain on our romantic partner. Some people say that it’s virtually impossible to avoid conflict in our intimate relationships. 

While there may be some truth and conflicts naturally arise between two people in close proximity, that does not mean that the relationship is fundamentally problematic, broken, or ending. These breakdowns occur when a momentary disagreement becomes something more without the tools to de-escalate and repair the relationship afterward. Conflicts arise naturally from time to time, but the key is knowing what to do next and how to move forward together. 

In skilled relationships, conflicts will arise, partners may have unskilled reactions or difficult moments with some raised voices or harsh words, but then the disagreement resolves with reconnection and repair. We leave the conflict behind and reestablish our alliance as a partnership. 

The Negative Story Loop

If we don’t take the time and energy to heal these wounds, future conflicts don’t resolve so quickly, negative feelings may linger, and we may sense something beginning to fester, decay, and rot in the relationship’s foundation. Compartmentalized emotions and unspoken feelings are swept under the rug and take on a life of their own. Tempers flare easily, and sudden arguments erupt seemingly out of nowhere.

Many couples report that surprise battles suddenly erupt like flash fires. 

A small spark can suddenly turn into a raging forest fire. Sadly, partners often feel helpless in the moment to react in a more effective manner or de-escalate the conflict successfully. Once they have calmed down and are in a better place mentally and emotionally, they often report deep regret and shock at the things they said and how they treated their romantic partner.  

We often react without thinking and strike out in retaliation without fully considering our partner or our relationship. Fights devolve into partners taking turns lashing out and reacting until the situation has evolved into a full meltdown often only concluding when one person leaves or the fire is burned out. Over time, these failures in restoring and repairing the relationship begin to change the character of how we interact as a couple. All we seem to remember now are the negative emotions and repeated conflicts. We lose the things that bonded us together like the inside jokes, shared hobbies, and playful banter, and we watch as the distance between us grows larger and wider. 

If this program sounds useful to you or a loved one, please call us today at (972) 596-7229 or send us a message on our Contact page!