Therapy That Works...

Generation Me - The Downsides of Taking Selfies - By Chris Gearing

Friday, August 09, 2013

Watch Dr. Sylvia Gearing describe how taking online self-portraits, or "selfies," could be bad for you - click here.

With the advent of social networks like Facebook, “selfies” have become increasingly popular with American children and adolescents. The Millenial generation is already changing the world and at eighty million strong, they aren’t going anywhere any time soon.

However, “selfies” are not always a good thing. Here are some things to think about:

Signaling Your Priorities:

Taking pictures of ourselves can be wonderful but only within certain limits. Creating an endless online photostream of yourself may appeal to some, but it can border on self-involved for the rest of the world. While we love to see occasional shots of you and your life, selfies can become a daily reminder of what you value (a.k.a. what you look like in the mirror). When you spend so much time posting pictures of yourself online, your priorities are not where they should be—out in the world contributing, learning about new things, and connecting to other people who would love to get to know you.

No Substitute:

“Selfies” are a one-way street. They cannot take the place of conversations, spontaneous interactions, and intimacy with others. They also tell us very little about who you are and what kind of person you want to be. Those can only be shared in person.

Lack of Learning:

One way we learn about ourselves is through being around and relating to other people. We learn about our strengths and weaknesses, practice relating and empathy, and learn how we can be a better friend when we are actively socializing and talking in person. Too much time staring at a computer screen prevents us from learning how to effectively relate and connect to others.

Greater Expectations:

Too much emphasis on how we look in our pictures online can create unrealistic expectations of ourselves that can prove difficult to sustain over the years. We need to find a balance between enjoying how we look while retaining a genuine sense of who we are. We need to define ourselves based on our strengths as people, not as pictures on the internet.

Source:

"Generation Me" by Dr. Jean Twenge

Generation Me - The Benefits of Taking "Selfies" - By Chris Gearing

Monday, August 05, 2013

Watch Dr. Sylvia Gearing discuss why posting self-portraits, or "selfies," online could actually be a good thing - click here.

With the advent of social networks like Facebook, self-portraits, or “Selfies,” have become increasingly popular with American children and adolescents. The Millenial generation is already changing the world and at eighty million strong, they aren’t going anywhere any time soon.

So, what are the upsides of taking “Selfies?”

Adventures In Real Time:

Selfies can be used to share who we are with the world. These spontaneous pictures can broadcast our sense of humor, our serious side, or even a flattering physical shot. They are meant to give a fleeting glimpse of our life and our adventures to our friends and family in real time.

Cutting Loose:

Sometimes, we just need to have some fun! Selfies give us a way to play and forget our responsibilities and worries for a few minutes. We can have our own personal photo shoot with just ourselves or we can bring in friends to spice things up! Either way, it’s fun to cut loose for a little while and be silly and spontaneous.

Capturing The Creative:

Using services like Instagram, “Selfies” can be shot in a million different ways and they allow us to express and develop our unique personalities and creative perspective. We can share who we are at this moment in time without limiting who we want to be.

Source:

"Generation Me" by Dr. Jean Twenge

My, My-Selfie, and I - CW33 Appearance - By Chris Gearing

Thursday, August 01, 2013

Watch Dr. Sylvia on the CW 33 News discussing the detrimental effects of "selfies" and Generation Me - click here.

The Back To School Bullying Epidemic - By Chris Gearing

Thursday, September 06, 2012

Watch Dr. Sylvia Gearing on CBS 11 discuss Back To School Bullying and what you can do about it - click here.

Bullying has become a serious mental health issue for millions of American families with up to 30% of students reporting their involvement in some sort of bullying as either the bully, the victim, or a bystander. The devastating consequences of bullying can turn deadly with 2/3 of school shooters reporting that they were being chronically bullied at school.

What are the specific characteristics of bullying?

Intentional Harm: Bullying in childhood is an aggressive form of intimidation that marginalizes the best of children while deeply scarring them psychologically. It is a repeated attempt to harm and to emphasize a humiliating imbalance of power and influence.

Bullying Begins Early: Research reports that almost 34% of elementary school students reported being frequently bullied at school.

Middle School Peaks: Bullying peaks in middle school. Seventh grade is the worst year.

Group Bullying: Bullying is usually a group activity. Studies show that a single child does not usually victimize kids. Bullying involves both active and passive participation by a group. The kids adopt a mob mentality as they team together to ridicule or emotionally torture another child.

Popular Kids Often Bully: Kids use the bullying of others to gain status and to exhibit their intimidation skills.

Here's why a child would begin bullying others in the first place:

Modeling their Parents: They are often victims of physical and emotional bullying at home and have parents who have problems with anger and self control. They identify with the aggressor and inflict pain to establish internal self-control.

Intimidation and Revenge Justified by Parents: Parents who tend to intimidate others rear kids who do the same. Bulling others becomes a justified behavior. Family values that include rudeness, entitlement, the intimidation of others, revenge, character assault of others or deliberate treachery create children who are much more likely to engage in bullying.

Bullies Know Difference Between Right and Wrong: The research about bullies reveals that most of the time they know exactly what they are doing. They simply lack a conscience. They understand the differences between right and wrong and commit the act anyway. They will lie, cheat and steal to avoid punishment and are deceptive with others. Although some studies suggest that around 40% of them have some mild empathy, another 40% are indifferent to the suffering of their victims and 20% actively enjoy the intimidation and control.

But what about the recent surge of online bullying?

Anonymous Bullies: The common denominator of all bullying is the intentional act to inflict pain on another person by emphasizing the imbalance of power. Unfortunately, the anonymity of the Internet is ideal for such vicious behavior. According to the Pew Internet and American Life Project in 2006, one third of students are targets at some point.

Cyber Bullying Turns Dangerous: Most of the time, cyber bullying involves gossip and rude comments that do not express direct intent to harm. Around 50% of online bullies report that they inflict such cruelty “for fun” and to “teach the target a lesson.” However, a study published in 2006 reported that 12% of teens were physically threatened online and 5% actually feared for their physical safety.

We all know that bullying can have life long traumatic effects on a victim, but research shows that bullies and bystanders are also deeply effected by the act of bullying:

Three Victims: Words are weapons and psychological harm is as severe as a broken bone. Bullying involves three victims—the bully, the recipient of the bullying and the witnesses to such cruelty.

Victims Develop Serious Depression and Helplessness: Victims report more internal problems such as depression and anxiety.

Bullies and a Lifelong Pattern of Oppositional Behavior: Bullies have more conduct problems, anger and develop alienation from school and the community. Chronic oppositional behavior is typical of such children leading to a lifetime of hardship.

Bystanders Grow Apathetic and Uncaring: Witnesses become desensitized to the suffering of others and do not take responsibility for allowing such cruelty to occur.

The long-term effects of bullying for all groups can be severe with protracted trauma, depression and resentment stretching into the adult years.

Increased Suicidal Ideation: Researchers at the Yale School of Medicine found a significant connection between bullying, being bullied and suicide in a review of 37 studies from 13 countries. Bullying victims were much more likely to think about suicide.

Here's what you can do to help your child with bullying at school:

Stop Denying: Many adults prefer to view bullying as a normal “rite of passage” through childhood. Nothing could be further from the truth. There are millions of victims who no longer believe that adults are going to protect them and they suffer in silence.

Bystanders Are Key: Research now argues that the bystanders of bullying are one of the vital keys to decreasing this growing problem. Teaching non-bullied kids to speak up, to refuse to be an audience, to label bullying publicly and to go and get help when the situation is out of control are essential steps for parents and teachers.

Empower the Victims: Believe your child about bullying. Victims are renowned for responding ineffectively through withdrawal, denial, silence and passivity. Such behaviors “feed” the bully’s control. We need to develop the victim’s talents, social skills, physical coordination and assertive abilities. He needs to be reassured that adults will take his complaints seriously and that he must report harassment. These are teachable skills and they increase self-confidence exponentially.

Sources:

American Academy of Pediatrics

"Bullying and Teasing: Social Power in Children’s Groups," Gayle Macklem, Kluwer Academic/ Plenum Publishers, New York, 2003. Cowie and Wallace (2006)

Patchin, J.W., and Hinduja, S. (2006) Bullies move beyond the schoolyard: A preliminary look at cyber bullying. Youth Violence and Juvenile Justice, 4, 148-169.

Swearer, S., Espeleage, D., Napolitano, S. "Bullying: Prevention and Intervention," 2009

Your TV Is Making You Gain Weight! - By Chris Gearing

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Watch Dr Sylvia on YouTube describe why your TV is making you gain weight - click here.

If you’re trying to lose some weight, here’s a quick trick to help.

A recent study found that millions of Americans consistently overeat because of one thing you have in your home – your TV. Those who watch TV while eating meals ate, on average, an extra 300 calories compared to those who ate without watching the tube. So if you’re watching what you eat… don’t watch TV!

Make sure to check back tomorrow and I’ll tell you a quick way to protect yourself from high calorie foods!

Source:

MensHealth.com

The Musical Cure For Depression - By Chris Gearing

Friday, December 23, 2011

Watch Dr Sylvia on YouTube explain the musical cure for depression - click here.

Feeling worn down? Tired of the same old boring Christmas songs on the radio? Well, a new research study has found that you can break out of your funk by listening to funk… or blue, or rock, or whatever kind of music you like.

Along with distracting you and giving you a beat to dance to, music was shown to increase levels of dopamine – the pleasure hormone. So, take a break and crank the volume on your favorite music whether it’s Bach or the new Black Keys album.

Source:

MensHealth.com

The Dangerous Side of Cyberstalking - By Chris Gearing

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The Trauma of Cyberstalking - By Chris Gearing

Monday, November 28, 2011

Cyber-Stalking - By Chris Gearing

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Watch Dr. Sylvia Gearing discuss Cyberstalking and more on CBS 11 by clicking here.

Cyberstalking may be worse for your health than being stalked in person according to a just released study from the American Psychological Association. Almost a million adults, most of them women, are targets of cyberstalking each year leaving these women struggling with the trauma of stalking.

First - what is cyberstalking?

Cyberstalking is the hidden nightmare of the Internet. It is committed when the perpetrator makes a technologically based attack on another person via texting, Facebooking and email using mobile phones and computers. The ultimate goal is to harm that person using the distance and stealth of technology to get away with it. The motives are simple and vile—to wreck revenge on another person due to anger, revenge or the sheer pleasure they gain by controlling the fear of another person.

Here are the primary forms:

Harassment: Embarrassment and humiliation of the victim and/or the family to isolate the victim

Using Economic Control (ruining credit and stealing money out of bank accounts)

Threats and Lies to intimidate and bully

Tracking of the Victim via social media sites such as Facebook or using tracking devices such as a GPS.

The worst part is that cyberstalking is much more common than in-person stalking.

40% of women have experienced dating violence via social media, which includes harassing text messages and disturbing information about them posted on social media sites.

20% of online stalkers use social networking to stalk their victims.

34% of female college students and 14% of male students have broken into a romantic partner’s email.

Now this new study showed that cyberstalking, in comparison to in person stalking is more traumatic to women.

In person stalkers usually know their victims while around 50% of cyberstalkers are either acquaintances or complete strangers. The remainder of cyberstalkers however, are disturbed people we know.

The female victims were often left confused about why this was happening leaving them feeling even more unprotected. That vulnerability can begin to define their lives.

Cyberstalking victims experience more trauma because the harassment can last 24/7 and can occur anywhere, anytime, no matter whom you are with.

The harassment makes women feel socially anxious, physically vulnerable, lonely, and helpless. They suffer from a chronic hypervigilence and are always scanning their environment for who he is and what he might do next.

Here's what you can do if you're being cyberstalked:

First of all, refuse to be a victim. Too many of us allow the behavior of the bully to define how we think and feel about ourselves. Consider how pathetic he is. Refuse to stoop to his level.

Trust your Intuition: If you feel you are in danger, please listen to that inner voice. Do not hesitate but move quickly to a secure location.

Surround yourself with safe, dependable girlfriends who have your back. When you are in a social situation, your gal posse can be your eyes and ears against any potential intimidation.

Create a narrative in your own mind of what is happening and how empowered you remain irrespective of this behavior. You are not responsible for the choices of a criminal.

Educate yourself about your legal rights. Most states have some form or stalking law so access that information. Calm down, gear up with information and push through this adversity which is temporary.

How To Prevent Female Committed Domestic Violence - By Chris Gearing

Friday, April 15, 2011

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