Therapy That Works...

Conan's Comeback - By Chris Gearing

Friday, November 19, 2010

Dr Sylvia on CareerBuilder.com - By Chris Gearing

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Dr Sylvia Gearing was quoted in an article on MSN's CareerBuilder.com!

Check it out here:

http://msn.careerbuilder.com/Article/MSN-2418-Job-Search-Does-Persistence-Really-Pay/?pf=true

Does Persistence Really Pay?

By Kaitlin Madden, CareerBuilder Writer

While we can all recite quotes about how persistence is the key to success --"If at first you don't succeed ...", "Nothing good comes easy" -- they're easier said than acted upon when we feel instead like we're "banging our head against a wall" or "beating a dead horse."

The fact is many workers and job seekers struggle with persistence nowadays. It can be hard to keep going when your job search proves fruitless after months of hard work, you still haven't gotten that promotion you were hoping for or it seems like your "big break" is always just out of arms' reach. With so much time and energy put it our efforts to persist, doing so to no avail can cause us to wonder if our persistence will ever pay off.

According to Caroline Ceniza-Levine, co-founder of SixFigureStart, persistence does pay off, so long as we remember one thing about our path to achieving our goals: There is a difference between smart persistence and blind persistence.

"Persistence to a goal pays off as long as you can be flexible on how you get there," Ceniza-Levine says. "If your job search isn't yielding offers, then whatever you are doing is not working. You may have the right role and companies in mind but your marketing, your interview technique, your networking approach, or something else about how you are presenting yourself to these prospects is off. Or the prospects themselves may be wrong for you."

With that in mind, here are a few strategies for successful, smart persistence.

Pursue your goal from all angles

According to Tyler Tervooren, author of the blog "Advanced Riskology," persistence works best when there's a method to your madness.

"Persistence does pay, but only if it's persistence with a real strategy" he says. "If, in the worst economy of our time, your strategy is to send out a résumé and say 'Here, hire me please,' you're never going to get anywhere no matter how many times you do that. On the other hand, if your goal is to make enough money to support yourself and you're willing to try a bunch of different things like submitting an online résumé or portfolio, going to networking events, meeting influential people in different industries or even starting your own business, then yes, persistence pays off," he says.

To elaborate on Tervooren's example: As a job seeker your overall goal may be to find a well-paying job in your industry. You decide that you will send out 10 résumés per week until you get a job -- but after months of searching, you have yet to land a position. While your ultimate goal may be a realistic one that's well within your reach, your way of going about getting the job is unrealistic.

Instead of just sending out résumés:

Seek out new networking opportunities by joining a professional organization or volunteering in your community AND

Engage the companies you'd like to work for on Twitter and LinkedIn AND

Take a class online or at a local community college to freshen up your skill set and enhance your résumé AND

Consult a professional résumé writer to make sure you résumé is fine-tuned and captivating

"You need be willing to try any crazy idea you get to make [your goal] happen; give up on the tactics that aren't working and pour more into the ones that look more promising. Do that over and over again and you'll get what you want," Tervooren says.

Take off your blinders

While it's important to have goals, it's also important to make sure you don't get so set on one particular path that you miss out on other opportunities that may prove equally rewarding.

"You cannot get so stuck or focused on that one goal that you forget to see other opportunities that might be even better than your original goal," says Jason O'Neill, teen entrepreneur and author of "Bitten By the Business Bug." "While goals are good in theory, if someone doesn't reach their goal, they often feel like they failed. However, if they take off their blinders, keep their eyes open, they just may see some other direction they never even thought of."

Accept that waiting is part of the process

It's important to remember that your goals won't happen overnight, and that you need to maintain a positive attitude in order to persist successfully. Believing that your goals will happen in your ideal time-frame will only lead to discouragement, so be willing to wait for your reward.

"The ability to delay gratification is vital," says Dr. Sylvia Gearing, a clinical psychologist in Dallas and owner of Gearing Up Counseling Centers. "Sacrificing short-term pleasure for a long-term goal is key here. Success has everything to do with tenacity. The world is full of intelligent, talented people who never achieved anything -- simply because they gave up."

Essentially, while persistence is necessary in achieving any goal, blind persistence isn't. Pouring your time and energy into a method of achieving you goal -- when that method isn't working -- is a waste of time. Trying every avenue you can think of in order to achieve a goal, on the other hand, is when persistence really does pay.

Kaitlin Madden is a writer and blogger for CareerBuilder.com and its job blog, The Work Buzz. She researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues. Follow @CBForJobSeekers on Twitter.

Copyright 2010 CareerBuilder.com. All rights reserved. The information contained in this article may not be published, broadcast or otherwise distributed without prior written authority.

Story Filed Wednesday, October 06, 2010 - 11:41 AM

Dr Sylvia On AOL.com - By Chris Gearing

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Dr Sylvia Gearing was featured today in an article on AOL.com!

The article is on how to stay sharp while unemployed. Make sure to check it out:

http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2010/09/16/brain-exercises/

Suicide and Children - By Chris Gearing

Friday, January 22, 2010

Suicide and Children

Dr. Sylvia Gearing

January 22, 2010, TXA 21 News

Today’s story about the apparent suicide of a nine-year-old Colony boy has once again raised the issue of depression and suicide in children.

Why do children kill themselves?

Suicides of Children Are Increasing: Although childhood suicide is relatively rare, it is increasing. For children under age 15, about 1-2 kids out of 100,000 will commit suicide. For kids between 15-19, the rate jumps to 11 out of 100,000.

Fourth Leading Cause of Death: Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death for children between the ages of 10-14 and the third leading cause of death for teenagers between 15-19.

Values Change: In general, our society is more narcissistic and more callous toward individual concerns. Troubled children are often overlooked in a society concerned with achievement, a struggling economy and overworked parents. The child in a family with busy, overworked parents is often marginalized and neglected. Depression flourishes in such situations and the child gives up all hope.

Here’s what makes a child more likely to commit suicide:

Depression is Epidemic: If a child has clinical depression, he is seven times more likely to try suicide. Depression is at epidemic levels now and strikes a full decade sooner than it did a generation ago. Severe depression recurs in about half of those who have had it once and since it strikes so early in life, there are higher rates of reoccurance.

Motivations for Suicide are Complex: The motivations for either attempting or completing suicide are complex but the main motivations include a desire to escape depression and hopelessness, debilitating anxiety or a situation they regard as being hopeless such as being bullied or abused. The older the child is, the more likely it is that the suicide is connected to interpersonal conflicts.

But do bullied kids have higher rates of depression?

Increased Suicidal Ideation: Bullied kids have a much higher rate of depression and the effects linger into adulthood. Bullying victims are much more likely to think about suicide. Researchers at the Yale School of Medicine found a significant connection between bullying, being bullied and suicide in a review of 37 studies from 13 countries. We know that 34% of elementary students are bullied and that bullying peaks in middle school. It is a group activity with a mob mentality that is crushing to kids who are victimized.

You may be wondering what happens to kids psychologically who are bullied or who bully others?

Three Victims: Words are weapons and psychological harm is as severe as a broken bone. Victims report more internal problems such as depression and anxiety. However, research reveals that the act of bullying actually claims three victims—the bully, the recipient of the bullying and the witnesses. Bullies have more conduct problems, anger and alienation from school and the community. We find that witnesses become desensitized to the suffering of others and allow it to happen without a second thought. The long-term effects of bullying for all groups can be severe with protracted trauma, depression and resentment stretching into the adult years.

What happens to the parents who lose their children through suicide?

This kind of loss is emotionally “disfiguring.” They will most certainly experience a post traumatic stress disorder that will need to be treated. When a child dies, the trauma lingers for years and de-regulates the parents’ emotional and cognitive functioning. Traumatic bereavement includes guilt, devastating depression and a lingering sense of helplessness and hopelessness.

Here’s what you can do about bullying:

Stop Denying: Many adults prefer to view bullying as a normal “rite of passage” through childhood. Nothing could be further from the truth. There are millions of victims who no longer believe that adults are going to protect them and they suffer in silence. This can lead to tragic consequences in the future.

Bystanders Are Key: Research now argues that the bystanders of bullying are one of the vital keys to decreasing this growing problem. Teaching non-bullied kids to speak up, to refuse to be an audience, to label bullying publicly and to go and get help when the situation is out of control are essential to stop bullies for good.

Empower the Victims: Believe your child about bullying. Victims are renowned for responding ineffectively through withdrawal, denial, silence and passivity. Such behaviors “feed” the bully’s control. We need to develop the victim’s talents, social skills, physical coordination and assertive abilities. He needs to be reassured that adults will take his complaints seriously and that he must report harassment. These are teachable skills and they increase self-confidence exponentially.

Educate yourself about the signs of depression:

  • Talking About Dying: Any mention of dying, disappearing, jumping, shooting oneself or other types of self-harm
  • Recent Loss: The loss of someone through death, divorce, separation, broken relationship, self confidence, self esteem, loss of interest in friends, hobbies, activities previously enjoyed.
  • Change in Personality—sad, withdrawn, anxious, tired, indecisive, apathetic
  • Change in Behavior: Cannot concentrate on school, work, routine tasks
  • Change in Eating Habits: Loss of appetite and weight, or overeating
  • Fear of losing control: Acting erratically, harming self or others
  • Low self esteem: feelings of worthlessness, shame, overwhelming guilt , self hatred, “everyone would be better without me.”
  • No hope for the future: Believing that things will never get better, that nothing will ever change.

For more information about Dr. Sylvia please go to www.gearingup.com

Sources:

"The Optimistic Child" by Dr. Martin Seligman

American Academy of Pediatrics

The American Psychological Association

The National Association of School Counselors

American Association of Suicidology

Don't Worry, Be Happy - By Chris Gearing

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Don't Worry, Be Happy: How Workplace Happiness Leads to Success

August 6th, 2009

Dr. Sylvia Gearing, TXA 21 News

Downsizing, job layoffs and a 9.7% unemployment rate have all lowered the morale of millions of working Americans. But what happens when the workplace blues affects your performance?

So why do we get so negative at work?

There are several reasons:

  • Brains Cued for Blues: Negative thinking has a life of it is own and is generated by a neurological circuitry that is reinforced each time you become negative. Even though you may have the best of intentions, your brain kicks into negativity with the first challenge. You experience a sudden startup of the blues without even thinking about it.
  • Emotional Contagion: Emotions are contagious and we are all vulnerable to the “infectious negativity” that dominates millions of offices, especially in a beleaguered economy. Negativity is catching and according to the Wharton School of Business, we see decreased cooperation, an increase of interpersonal conflict and a decreased sense of accomplishment.
  • Bullies, Divas and “Emotional Vampires”: Bullies, divas and emotional vampires dominate the workplace and are often in positions of power and influence. They love to ruin your day. They magnify the downside and minimize the upside. Cutting comments, worst-case scenarios and reviewing past injuries drag everyone down. We marinate in this pessimism and then wonder why we get so negative.
  • Cubicle Downers: The physical cues of the workplace can trigger you for stress. Just entering your office space makes your mood down a few points. Studies show that environment influence mindset in a profound way. Boring walls, industrial carpet and uncomfortable furniture trigger us to “go negative” the minute we walk in the door.

You may be wondering if there is a gender difference in this phenomenon and here it is:

Women are more susceptible to workplace negativity due to three factors.

  • Emotional Brain Overload: Our emotional memory capacity is twice that of a man’s so we are able to remember everything that others say and do, good and bad. Grudge holding is especially tempting for women.
  • Women Love Emotional Garbage: Women are especially vulnerable to picking up the emotional “garbage” of others and then wondering why they feel bummed out. In addition, we engage in too much gossiping which spreads negativity like wildfire.
  • Need for Consensus: Our overriding need for consensus is an asset and a liability. Too many of us grieve when there is dissension and worry about why things are negative at work. We blame ourselves and blame each other.

Here are some tips to shift your mood when you feel your negativity rising:

Quickly switching your mood is a discipline, not an event. It requires psychological “muscle” that you build over time by actively fighting against the downward spiral each time it occurs. Negativity reinforces negativity but the reverse is also true of positive thinking.

Here are some quick tips that work every time:

  • Don’t Deny the Negative: Do not deny the existence of negative events, just deal. You won’t solve your problem by ruminating. Worrying just makes you overestimate the problem. Remind yourself that this situation is not permanent, and that you will survive.
  • Disciplined Attention: Next apply a disciplined attention to the positives and to the possible. Redirect away from panic and focus on the small steps you need to take today to remedy the situation now. Then outline the remaining steps to resolving the problem. Break it down and keep it simple. Remind yourself that you can make a difference in improving the outcome.
  • Directed Mental Force: List your blessings, your advantages, and your strengths while expressing gratitude for all you have been given. Train your brain to appreciate the good things about work and the fact that you still have your job in a harsh economy.
  • Mood Stabilization: Sustainable happiness requires a constant shifting away from the negative and a disciplined embracing of the positives. You may have setbacks, but by remaining stable in your mood, your accuracy about reality will increase along with your job success.

Right-Brain Advantages In The New Economy - By Chris Gearing

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Right-Brain Advantages In New Economy

Jul 16, 2009

Dr. Sylvia Gearing, TXA 21 News

As the American economy continues to struggle, many of us are focused on performing at our maximum capacity in the workplace. The secret to your job security in the new economy may involve a new kind of thinking using your right brain.

What are the differences and advantages of each side of the brain?

What versus How: We know that the brain is divided into two hemispheres, left and right. People with dominant left sides are better at analytical analysis and processing and language skills. Right “brainers” are global holistic processors, which means that they are great at inventiveness, empathy and emotional intelligence. To oversimplify, the left hemisphere handles “what” is said while the right hemisphere focuses on “how” it is said. The non-verbal emotional cues delivered through intonation, facial expression and silences are the province of the right brain. They have never been more important.

Whole Brain is Better: The work place will no longer exclusively reward the analytical, numbers crunching individuals and will now recognize right brain problem solvers who use their innovation and emotional intelligence to achieve the best outcome. We are basically looking at a new worker who marries their right brain innovative thinking with their left-brain skill sets. The keys to the future belong to a person who can be creative and empathic, can recognize patterns in business and see the big picture quickly while analyzing and critically thinking.

You may be wondering how this applies to you.

The complexity of business problems we all face now calls for a new type of intelligence that is not based just on academic abilities and information processing. Our advances in technology are eradicating the need for rote performance and recitation and many of these jobs have been outsourced. People who use their right brain thinking to solve complex problems are more difficult to outsource since you cannot have the creative, innovative and emotionally intelligent workers on the other side of the world.

Here’s how right brain thinking looks in the work place:

  • Emotionally Engaging: They are exceptional at creating emotionally engaging products. They understand motivations and emotions well and use them to solve business problems.
  • Persuasive Narratives: Our workplace is rife with information and too many facts. Right brainers are brilliant at communicating persuasively and are compelling presenters.
  • Analysis Versus Synthesis: No longer are we chiefly charged with the analysis of a problem but we are also charged with creating a big picture out of disparate parts.
  • Empathy Matters: Emotional Intelligence helps you to not only understand and accurately perceive your own emotions in “real time,” it also gives you the empathy to understand co-workers and clients.
  • Playfulness: The mind requires rest to re-boot and restore it’s creative processes. Right “brainers” are clever, humorous people who know how to “downshift” into a lower gear. They go slower to go further.
  • Purpose and Spiritual Fulfillment: Creativity originates in a mind free to explore, wonder and admire. Right brainers make their greatest discoveries when they are given the freedom to “play” with solutions and immerse themselves in novelty. Brilliant insights come at such moments.

Whenever this comes up in my practice, people always ask me, “Can I learn to use my ‘right brain’ skills?”

Without a doubt, people can learn to use both sides of their brains to achieve the most success. Neuroscience now tells us that emotions, moods and states such as compassion can be trainable skills. With mental training in visualization, meditation and accurate, rational thinking, an individual can literally create positive, performance enhancing changes in the brain. With increased emotional control, we can restrict the negative, inaccurate thoughts that cloud our mind facilitating a lot more effective “brain power.” You become an “attentional athlete” which allows you to focus on solution rather than on confusion. Suddenly, precise resolution appears within complexity and a mindset of well-being becomes pervasive.

Sources for this story include the following:

Dr. Richard Davidson’s work in Neuroscience

"Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain," Sharon Begley

"A Whole New Brain" by Daniel H. Pink


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