Watch Dr. Sylvia Gearing discuss the new trend of parents yelling instead of spanking their kids - click here.
Is yelling the new spanking for American parents? Many parents have been warned to not spank their children, so they have turned to yelling as a way to reach their child and correct bad behavior.
But new research suggests that yelling at your child, especially teenagers, can actually make them more resistant to change and better behavior.
Many of us do yell when we are overwhelmed by the moment, and we are often haunted by our words and actions afterward. Rather than resolving the problem and helping our child make a positive change, we make the problem much worse.
Children who are routinely yelled at tend to make one of three choices:
1.) They yell back, which often ends in disaster.
2.) They withdraw into stony silence with resentment brewing beneath the surface
3.) They become silent and anxious while magnifying what happened and the future consequences.
Yelling teaches your child that you are not in control of your emotions at that moment, and it makes them less likely to control their emotions in the future.
In addition, spanking and yelling can increase aggression and resentment, both physically and verbally. Severe yelling or emotional abuse through speaking can have a lifelong, devastating impact, especially on children below the age of 10. Please make sure to watch my next video on this topic – How To Discipline Your Child Without Yelling or Spanking.
"Longitudinal Links Between Father's and Mother's Harsh Verbal Discipline and Adolescents' Conduct Problems and Depressive Symptoms," by Ming-Te Wang and Sarah Kenny, in "Child Development," 9/13/13