Therapy That Works...

Conan's Comeback - By Chris Gearing

Friday, November 19, 2010

The Continuing Trauma of Infidelity - By Chris Gearing

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Why Women Hold On To Trauma - By Chris Gearing

Monday, November 01, 2010

The Next Chapter In The Anita Hill Story - By Chris Gearing

Thursday, October 21, 2010

In 1991, Anita Hill was called to testify in Justice Clarence Thomas’s Senate confirmation hearings. She alleged that Justice Thomas had made lewd and inappropriate advances toward her. Recently, Virginia Thomas, his wife, called Professor Hill and requested an apology.

You can watch me covering this story on CBS 11 here:

http://cbs11tv.com/video/?id=57973@ktvt.dayport.com

Is Parental Alienation A Real Problem? Video - By Chris Gearing

Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Truth About Long-Term Relationships - By Chris Gearing

Thursday, October 07, 2010

Go The Distance: The Truth About Long-Term Relationships

With the new Drew Barrymore and Justin Long comedy “Going The Distance” in theaters, many couples are seeing a long distance relationship in a new light.

But what’s it really like to go the distance?

Recession Reality: Thanks to the economy, long distance relationships are relatively common nowadays with partners working jobs in different cities just to make the bills. The worst part is that as the recession drags on, so does the time apart – couples have been long-distance for years now either at work or at school getting ready for new jobs.

New Technology, New Relationships: With the advent of new technologies like text messaging, Twitter, and Skype available for free at the touch of a button – carrying on long-distance relationships has become easier than ever. Even though the frequency of communication has show no effect on whether or not couples stayed together or the quality of their relationship, technology has made it easier than ever to talk to our loved ones – no matter how far they are.

Magnify The Positive: Researchers have seen higher levels of idealization of a partner if they are far away. In addition, couples try much harder to avoid conflict if they are long-distance since they don’t want to spoil their little time together with fighting.

Progress Is Slow: Real partnerships and relationships develop through conflict resolution and fully knowing the other person – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Due to the lack of face time, long distance relationships tend to progress at a much slower rate, both towards breaking up and marriage.

If you’re considering a long-distance relationship, the biggest question that you have to answer is do you really trust the other person?

Physical attraction is not the same as the building blocks of love - trust, similar values, and a common view of the world. If you’re moving into a long-term, long-distance relationship, be extremely sure about what your partner will feel, think, and do when you’re apart.

SOURCES:

“More Young Couples Try Long-Distance Relationships” by Sharon Jayson, USA Today, http://www.usatoday.com/yourlife/health/medical/mentalhealth/2010-09-09-longdistance09_ST_N.htm

Why People Cheat - By Chris Gearing

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Wondering why people cheat? Who's more likely to leave the marriage after?

Watch Dr. Sylvia's responses on CBS 11 from tonight!

http://www.cbs11tv.com/video?id=57511@ktvt.dayport.com

Check back later for new vlogs!

Dr. Sylvia Gearing On CW33 - By Chris Gearing

Monday, August 02, 2010

Here's the CW 33 story Dr. Sylvia Gearing was featured on over the weekend!

Watch or read it here:

http://www.the33tv.com/news/kdaf-chelsea-clinton-lie-lying-lover-marriage-gearing-story,0,5381269.story

Predictive Factors of Divorce - By Chris Gearing

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Dr. Sylvia Gearing

The stunning announcement that the Gores were ending their forty year old marriage raises new questions about the longevity of long term marriages.

We do know that the Gores, as with many couples of that generation, had several risks factors for divorce:

Higher Divorce Rate for Older Marriages: According to research, marriages which originated in the 1960s and 1970s have higher divorce rates. Couples who married in the 1970s have a 47% divorce rate after thirty years.

Young Age at Marriage: The age when you marry is highly significant. Couples who married in their late teens or early twenties in the 70s are especially at risk.

Decades to Go: The Gores are still relatively young, affluent and well connected. In their early sixties, there are many years to come and many boomers long for an emotional connection they may not have realized in their earlier marriage.

While older couples may be splitting more, overall the marital stability rates seem to be improving with each decade and with female education. Among female college graduates, the ten year divorce rate for those married in the 1990s is just 16%. The divorce rate for the same demographic from the 1970s is 23%.

In addition, the increased education, economic self sufficiency and empowerment of today’s young twentysomething females lead to delayed marriage.

The average age for first marriages is 26 for females and 28 for men. With more education, the ages bump up anywhere from two to four years.

Older people just seem to make better marital decisions. They know themselves better, have a clearer understanding of the spousal attributes they are seeking and have the ability to assess a relationship without financial factors being so central. They can really engineer a wonderful beginning to the marriage since they are more mature in their careers and behavior. The marriage enjoys a profound kick start with older twentysomethings and thirtysomethings who invest enormous time cultivating and deepening the marital regard in the early years. Such investments create a sturdy and resilient marriage that will last a lifetime for many of them.

Sources:

Stephanie Coontz, Marriage, A History

Tara Parker Pope, For Better, The Science of a Good Marriage.

Menopausal Masters - By Chris Gearing

Thursday, March 04, 2010

The American Psychological Association published a great article by Tori DeAngelis on menopause and how we think of this important passage of a woman’s life. Now, I believe that I have to inform you that I was quoted in this article - but regardless, it's a wonderful piece of writing and science. Take a look at it here.

Negative stereotypes of hot flashing menopausal women seem more plentiful than the graceful dignity of most of my post fifty friends. I personally believe that depicting older women negatively has been a reflection of our collective lack of social and economic power. Now that economic independence is an option for women, the true reality of our lives as we mature is just now getting the proper respect it deserves.

Older women are not only amazing, but they also hold the keys to pivotal parts of our societies—our family and community unity, our social conscience and our altruistic support of the younger generations. Valuing our mature, post-menopausal women is not only the right thing to do, it is also the smart thing. They are generally at the top of their game, having spent a lifetime marinating in estrogen and now relieved of monthly cycles, and have become incredibly socially and emotionally intelligent.

For instance, take a look at the mastery of Meryl Streep in her latest film "It's Complicated." She plays an incredibly accomplished woman with a successful career and a happy family who is suddenly being pursued by two men! Woo! However fun and entertaining the movie is, take a look at Streep's performance and her life in the film. Or if you prefer reality to fiction, look at Mrs. Streep's career - 15 Oscar nominations, and 2 wins. Incredible. She's up again this Sunday for her incredible portrayal of Julia Child in "Julie & Julia" (if you haven't seen it yet, it's fantastic).

Where else can you find a mature, non-hormonal, gracious being who has a keen understanding of life and herself, and values other human beings unconditionally? The first place I would look for such a being is among post menopausal women.

Read more about the Menopause Makeover at www.apa.org.

Check back soon for more posts and information, or leave a comment below!

Dr. Sylvia


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