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Marriage & Divorce - How You Fight Day To Day - By Chris Gearing

Tuesday, October 07, 2014

Watch Dr. Sylvia Gearing discuss how normal everyday disagreements may actually be healthy for your marriage - click here.

For years, we’ve heard that marriages succeed or fail based on if you fight with your spouse.

However, new research has found that how you fight may have a more direct impact on whether you stay married or not.

Years ago, marriage expert Dr. John Gottman discovered that consistently high levels of negative communication could predict who separated and who stayed together. Conversations regularly featuring Dr. Gottman’s Four Horsemen of Marriage criticism, contempt, defensiveness, or stonewalling from a partner tended to erode even the best of bonds.

If one partner routinely fired on the other or regularly defended themselves against repeated emotional assaults, they would eventually just give up. They simply couldn’t continue on with the day-to-day negativity. The bottom line is that with routine negative communication, good feelings tend to evaporate and are replaced by resentment and hostility.

Source:

The Work of Dr. John Gottman


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