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Sex Comes Faster For Couples Who Text - By Chris Gearing

Monday, February 21, 2011

Technology seems to be redefining how couples get together. A survey released last week suggests that new couples get intimate faster because of e-mails, texts and other high-tech ways to communicate.

Here are three reasons why technology has such an influence:

Men Love Flirting: Men find flirtatious women irresistible and will often choose a highly flirtatious woman over a more physically attractive woman. Men really love a woman who can handle herself in a conversation whether it’s digitally communicated or face-to-face. Fifty eight percent of men said flirting on Facebook, G-chat and texting helped them become intimate sooner.

Women Love to Feel Connected: Texting keeps a woman feeling constantly connected which is the elixir of love for women. Nearly 80 percent of texting women said their relationships lead to sex more quickly because it was so easy for them to stay connected to their beaus. Texting provides the attention, the emotional familiarity and the sense of interest that women need to feel before they are physically intimate.

Texting Feeds Desire: The bottom line is that texting is the modern form of sexual seduction. Texting feeds the desire necessary for sexual interest and builds the intrigue. You have more opportunities to be humorous, less inhibited and spontaneous. People will say things in a text that they would never have the courage to say in person.

So does texting build a false sense of intimacy?

Absolutely it does since there is no way you can build an emotionally intimate relationship without putting in the “face time.” Chatting with someone through a text relationship keeps things superficial and fun, but such activities only provide an artificial sense of intimacy. Real relationships require real time contact. There is no substitute for being with someone in person—seeing, hearing, touching, even dancing with the person--that gives you a comprehensive and accurate view of who the other person really is. More to the point, you need to experience how you feel being with them in person to see if they relationship has a future.

Now could texting actually lead us to make a bad choice in a new relationship?

Deliberate Misrepresentation: You can get yourself in serious trouble if you over rely on technology since it allows people to misrepresent themselves. The person looks more clever, more patient and more honest then they really might be. They control the content and the flow of the conversation, which plays to the advantage of highly manipulative people.

Fantasy Relationships: In some cases, there can be outright harm to people who get involved too quickly with someone who they really don’t know. Some text-based relationships are entirely invented or highly spun. To become sexually intimate with someone who is really misleading you is devastating psychologically.

Staying Power of Love: There is a cardinal rule in new relationships—falling in love requires repeated face-to-face encounters. You must see each other routinely to become really invested. There is no substitute for the art of flirtation—the arch of an eyebrow or the wind in his hair. Having fun together, sharing experiences, and even facing adversity build a solid sense of commitment and undying loyalty. We find that these text-based relationships explode in passion but lack the staying power for long-term love.

So how can you use technology safely in a new relationship?

Don’t Substitute Technology for True Intimacy: Do not substitute technology for a real relationship since you can get burned easily. Remember that texting is a preview of seduction and foreplay but it is not a replacement for “in person” seduction and foreplay that is part of the relationship dance.

Slow Down: Make sure that you keep your own feelings under control when you are flirting via text. Don’t confuse arousal with real relating. Too many people jump in without knowing where they are going. Slow down and date for a while before you commit your heart.

Source: The Denver Post

Sex Comes Faster For Couples Who Text - By Chris Gearing

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

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